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Uber and Under

[<< Go Uber and Under.]
 
 
You Know You're An Internet Junkie When...

[author unknown, but modified by Brad]
  1. You wake up at 3 AM to go to the bathroom and bring your BlackBerry with you to check your e-mail.
     
  2.  You get a tattoo that reads "This body best viewed with Internet Explorer 8 or higher."
     
  3. You nickname your children Firefox and Opera.
     
  4. You call your family to dinner by sending them Twitter "tweets."
     
  5. You turn off your computer and get this awful empty feeling, like you just pulled the plug on a loved one.
     
  6. You spend half of the plane trip with your laptop on your lap...and your child in the overhead compartment.
     
  7. You decide to stay in college for an additional year or two, just for the free Internet access.
     
  8. You laugh at people that still use DSL.
     
  9. You start using smileys in your "snail mail."
     
  10. Your hard drive crashes. You haven't logged in for two hours and you start to twitch and whimper.
     
  11. You try to hum to communicate with a faxmodem...and you succeed.
     
  12. You find yourself typing "com" after every period when using a word processor.com.
     
  13. You refer to going to the bathroom as downloading.
     
  14. You start introducing yourself as "John Doe at comcast dot net."
     
  15. All of your friends have a hash symbol (#) in their names.
     
  16. FaceBook is your primary means of communication with family.
     
  17. Your pet bird tweets, but only through Twitter.
     
  18. You check your mail. It says "no new messages." So you check it again.
     
  19. Your phone bill comes to your doorstep in a box.
     
  20. You don't know what sex three of your closest friends are, because they have neutral nicknames and you never bothered to ask.
     
  21. You tell the cab driver you live at "http://1276_N._92nd_St/house/brick.html."
     
  22. You start tilting your head sideways to smile.