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God Announces Release of World 2.0
New Version of World Expected to Bring Significant Enhancements
 

World 2.0Heaven, Iowa - November 30, 2011 - With trumpets and fanfare, the Lord God announced the release of World 2.0 to the heavenly hosts. According to an unnamed source close to the Almighty, World 2.0 will be a dramatic improvement over the nearly 6,000-year-old World 1.0. "World 1.0 has shown an increasing number of problems over the past millennium," quotes the source, "including disease, famine, pestilence, global warming and The Real Housewives of New Jersey. Humanity continues to consume all resources and crash the system. There's even a message spreading through the firmament that says 'Your realm is infected with 2011.Humanity.Scourge. Click here to eradicate.' As a result, there's been a general call to either repair the issues or provide a major new release."

When asked during a recent interview what led Him to finalize the decision, He responded "I created the world in six days and then rested. Obviously, I should have taken more time to make an efficient and robust World solution. Going forward, I will work with a focus group of angels as well as a representative from Hell to come up with a functional specification, and then coordinate a design team to help me layout the new framework. Once completed, I will cease all support for World 1.0 and release World 2.0 to manufacturing."

Leaders of the Christian, Jewish, Muslim and Hindu religions, and even representatives of Occupy Heaven all expressed concern following the announcement and immediately coordinated an appeal to the Most High to reverse the decision. "If necessary, we will file suit in the World Court to have this decision reversed. We cannot sit idly by and let Him dictate our future. Who does He think He is with this holier-than-thou attitude?"

Although a list of improvements in World 2.0 has not yet been announced, it is anticipated that the Humanity feature will be omitted. The expected release date is December 21, 2012.
 



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