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Uber and Under

[<< Go Uber and Under.]
You May Be An Engineer If:
[author unknown, but modified by Brad]
  1. Your family members, including the cousins-twice-removed that you haven't seen for six years, call you at all hours of the day for computer support.
  2. Your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner.
  3. You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie.
  4. The names of your technical certifications have more letters than your first and last name combined
  5. You have more than two email addresses.
  6. You stare at an orange juice container because it says "Concentrate."
  7. You can name six Star Trek or Lost episodes.
  8. The only jokes you receive are through e-mail.
  9. Your wrist watch has dual cores.
  10. Your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the decimal point in the right place.
  11. You look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys.
  12. You use a CAD package to design your son's Pine Wood Derby car.
  13. You have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts.
  14. At Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string.
  15. Your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies.
  16. You have "Dilbert" comics displayed anywhere in your work area.
  17. You carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a test that actually takes five minutes to run.
  18. You don't even know where the cover to your personal computer is.
  19. You have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven.
  20. You know the direction the water swirls when you flush.
  21. You have ever taken the back off your TV just to see what's inside.
  22. A team of you and your co-workers have set out to modify the antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception.
  23. You ever burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair project.
  24. You are currently gathering the components to build your own nuclear reactor.
  25. You own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts.
  26. You have never backed-up your hard drive.
  27. You are aware that computers are actually only good for playing games, but are afraid to say it out loud.
  28. You truly believe aliens are living among us.
  29. You have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance.
  30. You have ever purchased an electronic appliance "as-is."
  31. You see a good design and still have to change it.
  32. The sales people at Best Buy can't answer any of your questions.
  33. The thought that a CD could refer to finance or music never enters your mind.
  34. You own a set of itty-bitty screwdrivers, but you don't remember where they are.
  35. You rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires.
  36. You have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal.
  37. You have more toys than your kids.
  38. You need a checklist to turn on the TV.
  39. You have introduced your kids by the wrong name.
  40. You have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work.
  41. Your IQ is greater than your weight.
  42. The microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work and you rush up to the front to fix it.
  43. You can remember seven computer passwords but not your anniversary.
  44. You have memorized the program schedule for the Discovery channel and have seen most of the shows already.
  45. You have ever owned a calculator with no equal key and know what RPN stands for.
  46. Your father sat 2 inches in front of your family's first color TV with a magnifying lens to see how they made the colors, and you grew up thinking that was normal.
  47. You know how to take the cover off of your computer, and what size screwdriver to use.
  48. You can type 70 words per minute but can't read your own handwriting.
  49. People groan at the party when you pick out the music.
  50. You can't remember where you parked your car for the third time this week.
  51. You did the sound system for your senior prom.
  52. Your checkbook always balances.
  53. You have more friends on the Internet than in real life.
  54. You thought the real heroes of "Apollo 13" were the mission controllers.
  55. You think that when people around you yawn, it's because they didn't get enough sleep.
  56. You spend more on your home computer than your car.
  57. You know what "http://" stands for.
  58. You have a neatly sorted collection of old nuts and bolts in your garage.
  59. Your three year-old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to explain atmospheric absorption theory.
  60. Your laptop computer costs more than your car.
  61. Your four basic food groups are Caffeine, Fat, Sugar, and Chocolate.